Our stories are what make us

We grew up with stories of men: Jesus Christ, Superman, James Bond, John Wayne, ... sports and rock stars, .... warriors, conquerors, heroes, .... our fathers, teachers, priests, grandfathers, ... In many ways these stories are what make us. They form our belief systems. They define the context within which we live and act.
As we become aware that many of these stories that form us are written by the religious, political, economic and academic patriarchy, then we have to take a deeper look

Masculinity is fruit of millions of years of biological interaction and evolution.
Human masculinity is also fruit of hundreds of thousands of years of social interaction and evolution.
Our personal masculinity will be further conditioned by the legacy from our local culture and family history.

It is generally accepted that there is continual interaction between 'biological determination' and 'environmental determination'. Biology decides which environmental factors are important at different stages of neuro-physical development and how they will influence this development. Environment gives all the rich texture of sensorial, chemical, physical, social, emotional and cognitive information that then shapes neuro-biological development.

Our stories determine much of our lives. We grow up in, so are formed by, our family and culture. These have a complex pattern of beliefs, behaviours, fears, rituals, …. relating to masculinity and relationships, generated and maintained over generations.
If we investigate our early play and emotional interactions then we can begin to understand how we have developed emotionally and socially. Each family and culture will have its distinct stories around these questions and issues … so they will have different concepts of masculinity and relationships. A few brief introductory stories:

• From the biological data it seems that infant boys and girls brains might be looking for some partially different kinds of social care and stimulus.
• As parents, teachers and carers we do treat and play with, boys and girls in quite different ways ... so we stimulate them in different ways – so we contribute to different emotional brain development from a very early age
• Girls tend to play together, speaking, imaginative role play around social situations often with dolls, developing more empathy, linguistic and communication skills
• Boys role models and play tend to be aggressive, competitive, ... so inexpressive apart from the aggression, ...
  
• Boys need an adult male mentor and activities to help guide their passions, anger, fears, sadness, longings, ... into useful creative channels. Where this energy is not used effectively then it can become destructive or depressive.
  
• Boys used to play more physical games with less verbal communication, running about in the street, learning some emotional skills through fighting, competitive and collaborative games, ...
• Currently boys spend 70% or more of their play time in front of a 'screen' (play station, TV, computer, mobile phone). They are developing even less empathy, linguistic and communication skills than when previously playing football in the street.