The social making of men
Boys & men emerge from a social context constructed upon male violence. In the pages on Men's Issues and Violence we have just explored how men, patriarchy and violence have dominated religions, politics, education, business, … for as long as we know. The page on the 'biological making of men' shows some relevant features of male human biological development.
The violence in the social making of men and the early education of boys receives little academic or political scrutiny. Violent masculine domination is the social norm. This is the social story we are constructed within. We see that males make up the great majority of: prison inmates, murders, rapes, violence, suicides, failure at school, traffic accidents, war makers, work accidents, environmental exploiters, drug addictions and related crimes, ... terrorists, egocentric and despotic politicians, ... and this is celebrated as the norm that we have to aspire to.
You and I are not to blame for this inheritance but we are responsible for looking at it and its effects.
The social and political ignorance of these related factors has a huge social, financial and emotional cost. There is massive spending on the short term consequences of these specific violences, but little or none on understanding the root causes and links between these, and less on how we might work with males to make a better society and environment for all. This given, it is a surprise that there is almost no investment in research to explore masculinities. Finance is needed for lots of men's work.
We, specifically men, need to look hard at ourselves. Am I the man I would like young men to become? When we men can openly address our sex, our aggression, our unhappiness with life, our relationships with women and other men, ... then we can contribute to new sustainable masculinities:
This is some of the process we try to address in supportive men's groups. Our experience in running Men's groups and other social projects working with men shows that well experienced facilitators who understand men and boy's needs can help them to develop their individuality in a balanced way. Men need to, and can, integrate their power and their sensitivity, their aggression and their fears, in ways that do not harm others or themselves, harnessing this amazing energy to benefit society rather than threaten it.
The violence in the social making of men and the early education of boys receives little academic or political scrutiny. Violent masculine domination is the social norm. This is the social story we are constructed within. We see that males make up the great majority of: prison inmates, murders, rapes, violence, suicides, failure at school, traffic accidents, war makers, work accidents, environmental exploiters, drug addictions and related crimes, ... terrorists, egocentric and despotic politicians, ... and this is celebrated as the norm that we have to aspire to.
You and I are not to blame for this inheritance but we are responsible for looking at it and its effects.
The social and political ignorance of these related factors has a huge social, financial and emotional cost. There is massive spending on the short term consequences of these specific violences, but little or none on understanding the root causes and links between these, and less on how we might work with males to make a better society and environment for all. This given, it is a surprise that there is almost no investment in research to explore masculinities. Finance is needed for lots of men's work.
We, specifically men, need to look hard at ourselves. Am I the man I would like young men to become? When we men can openly address our sex, our aggression, our unhappiness with life, our relationships with women and other men, ... then we can contribute to new sustainable masculinities:
- first we stop lying and offer a more honest and complex picture of what it is to be a man with our weaknesses and 'failures' rather than the caricature we currently live with. A more complete and human image of masculinity will be of real value to young people who value honesty and look for models which truly reflect their lives.
- then maybe we can begin to offer rites of passage for young and teenage boys that they can actually believe in. We can offer creative channels for their anger with the world, We can offer them realistic projects to develop their creativity. Not as hypocritical 'do-gooders' covering our own inadequacies but leading from our humanness, showing our frailties as well as our strengths
This is some of the process we try to address in supportive men's groups. Our experience in running Men's groups and other social projects working with men shows that well experienced facilitators who understand men and boy's needs can help them to develop their individuality in a balanced way. Men need to, and can, integrate their power and their sensitivity, their aggression and their fears, in ways that do not harm others or themselves, harnessing this amazing energy to benefit society rather than threaten it.