Addictions
Men seem to be more susceptible to addictions. Addiction is a dependence on any behaviour, belief, object, person, substance, .... that has a destructive effect on our general well-being. Just a few addictive crutches we men depend upon when we are suffering might include: alcohol/drugs, work, sex/pornography, gambling, playing games, television, consumerism (stuff, gadgets, food, ...), social media, information nerdiness (news, technology, ...), rigid beliefs (religious, political, new age, sport, emotional, ...) ..... and so much more.
As human beings we are dependent. We have basic human needs that have to be satisfied, or we suffer and look for substitutes.
Many recent studies show that most addictions are substitutes for real needs such as intimacy, creativity, community, connection, love, belonging, ..... Our modern patriarchal, Judeo-Christian culture has separated us from each other and from the Earth, the roots of real healthy satisfaction. We don't know how to connect, communicate, love and belong so we consume the addictive substitutes that are sold to us. Our modern lives tend to be more depersonalised, disconnected, lacking meaningful creative work, ... they are not satisfying our basic needs. We are offered and buy into the addictive substitutes for connection, identity, love, belonging, creativity, communication, .... These 'pseudo-satisfiers' can never reach or quench our real human needs.... so we become desperate unsatisfied addicts.
As men, when our basic needs are unsatisfied or threatened, our stress-testosterone response leads us once more into the fight-flight state. But in that state we cannot reflect, contemplate and investigate the real needs behind our impulses, so it is not surprising that we fall into addictions. This is more so in a social environment which offers little support, meaning, connection or creativity. Our culture, religions, media, politics, commerce and education systems are 'pushers' of the pseudo-satisfiers. They benefit from our addictions to their types of consumerism.
As human beings we are dependent. We have basic human needs that have to be satisfied, or we suffer and look for substitutes.
Many recent studies show that most addictions are substitutes for real needs such as intimacy, creativity, community, connection, love, belonging, ..... Our modern patriarchal, Judeo-Christian culture has separated us from each other and from the Earth, the roots of real healthy satisfaction. We don't know how to connect, communicate, love and belong so we consume the addictive substitutes that are sold to us. Our modern lives tend to be more depersonalised, disconnected, lacking meaningful creative work, ... they are not satisfying our basic needs. We are offered and buy into the addictive substitutes for connection, identity, love, belonging, creativity, communication, .... These 'pseudo-satisfiers' can never reach or quench our real human needs.... so we become desperate unsatisfied addicts.
As men, when our basic needs are unsatisfied or threatened, our stress-testosterone response leads us once more into the fight-flight state. But in that state we cannot reflect, contemplate and investigate the real needs behind our impulses, so it is not surprising that we fall into addictions. This is more so in a social environment which offers little support, meaning, connection or creativity. Our culture, religions, media, politics, commerce and education systems are 'pushers' of the pseudo-satisfiers. They benefit from our addictions to their types of consumerism.
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Much of this can seem overwhelming, leaving us as impotent but guilty addicts. Guilt and shame are hooks from our blaming Judeo-Christian culture that keep us anchored us into addiction to the patriarchal consumerist drugs. If we can see how these complex addictions are embedded in our culture at every level ... then it is possible to recognise that we are not to blame. We are totally innocent victims of this separation from the Earth, from each-other and from our bodies. We do not really need punishment or detox programmes. These are feel-good/bad binge drugs from the same pushers.
We simply need to find supportive environments that enhance our meaningful creative connections with life. In a creative, loving, supportive community the addictions to pseudo-satisfiers drop away because we are finding true satisfaction. |
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