Men's Issues
As men we often struggle in silence. We think we have to be able to solve everything and that to ask for help would be another manifestation of our failure. As men we dream, we act, we struggle, we fight, we hurt, we feel afraid, we are angry, we feel that we are failures, we get depressed, we love with awe and tenderness, … But often we cannot show or share much of this. We are mostly educated, expected and permitted to show power, dominance, aggression, competition, success, .... nothing else.
Men seem reluctant to seek medical help and much less psychological or emotional help. We have to pretend that we know what we are doing, especially in front of other men. We bottle it up until some crisis bursts the dam. Sometime we men become addicted to work, sex, substances, gaming, pornography, …. as ways to try and contain our pains and discharge the stress.
Sometimes we find a relationship with a friend where we can show some of these feelings. Often this is a women who we can trust enough to open ourselves. This is not necessarily a love partner, and indeed often a deep friendship where there is no sexual interest. This can become an infantile dependence on the ‘mother’ who will care for our emotional needs. As we suppress our emotions so we often get caught up in addictions. We want love and sex but then can struggle with real intimacy. These struggles often appear as kinds of violence:
Men's groups and therapy offer a safe holding space to understand and manage our emotions towards healthier lives and relationships.
Men seem reluctant to seek medical help and much less psychological or emotional help. We have to pretend that we know what we are doing, especially in front of other men. We bottle it up until some crisis bursts the dam. Sometime we men become addicted to work, sex, substances, gaming, pornography, …. as ways to try and contain our pains and discharge the stress.
Sometimes we find a relationship with a friend where we can show some of these feelings. Often this is a women who we can trust enough to open ourselves. This is not necessarily a love partner, and indeed often a deep friendship where there is no sexual interest. This can become an infantile dependence on the ‘mother’ who will care for our emotional needs. As we suppress our emotions so we often get caught up in addictions. We want love and sex but then can struggle with real intimacy. These struggles often appear as kinds of violence:
- against ourselves in guilt, depression, dangerous behaviour, addictions and suicide ....
- against others in exerting physical, economic or emotional pain, ... usually ways where we invade or abandon the integrity of the other
- exploding in chaotic outbursts of all that we cannot contain or explain
Men's groups and therapy offer a safe holding space to understand and manage our emotions towards healthier lives and relationships.